'Stop Saying God Told Me You're My Wife' — Tonto Dikeh Warns Christian Men

Nollywood actress-turned-evangelist Tonto Dikeh has urged Christian men to stop using the phrase, "God told me you're my wife," as a shortcut to courtship, insisting that genuine relationships require intentional effort, respect and responsibility.

The actress made the remarks in a video shared on her Instagram page, where she criticised what she described as the "low-effort" approach some Christian men adopt when pursuing women for marriage.

Speaking humorously at the start of the message, Dikeh said her comments were directed at "brothers in the Lord" before challenging what she believes has become a growing trend within Christian circles.

She questioned why some men rely almost entirely on spiritual declarations while neglecting the practical aspects of building healthy relationships.

"God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God's character. Saying, 'God told me you are my wife,' is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort," she said.

According to the actress, many Christian women deserve to be pursued with the same level of thoughtfulness, care and intentionality expected in any healthy relationship.

She also questioned why some church men believe women within the faith should not expect meaningful gestures during courtship.

Cites biblical examples

To support her argument, Dikeh pointed to several biblical accounts, saying Scripture encourages deliberate and responsible pursuit rather than passive reliance on prophecy.

Referring to Proverbs 18:22, she noted that finding a wife requires deliberate action.

"Finding requires active, intentional effort," she said.

She also cited the account of Abraham's servant in Genesis 24, who arrived with gifts while seeking a wife for Isaac, arguing that the biblical example demonstrates preparation and intentionality rather than mere verbal declarations.

Drawing another lesson from the story of Boaz and Ruth, Dikeh said Boaz demonstrated his intentions through protection, provision, kindness and responsibility before marriage.

According to her, genuine love is reflected in consistent actions, not simply in spiritual pronouncements.

She further referenced the Song of Solomon, describing it as evidence that romance, affection and intentional expressions of love are consistent with biblical values.

"A woman of God deserves to be cherished, respected and treated with excellence. Spiritual maturity should elevate your standards, not lower them," she said.

'God speaks to women too'

Dikeh concluded by encouraging Christian men to abandon what she described as shortcuts in relationships and instead invest time in knowing the women they hope to marry.

"Step up. Plan that date. Don't keep saying, 'God said,' because God speaks to women too," she added.

The actress, who has become increasingly active in Christian ministry in recent years, frequently shares devotional messages, teachings and faith-based content on her social media platforms.

She is also expected to participate in a prayer and worship programme in Kigali, Rwanda, on July 5 alongside Nigerian gospel singer Ebuka Songs and other ministers.